Sometimes all of us change priorities in our lives. I have recently changed mine. Those that know me may be thinking that the reason for changing my priorities was the birth of my second son Filipe, who is three months old now. Allow me to say that you are wrong. Before diving in my reasons, let me say that my life has been marked by cycles, and typically there are changes in the way I see the world at the end of each cycle.
A little bit of the history of my life. I played soccer since 10 until I was 15 years old. When I was 15, in 1991, I was playing soccer at a great club, Benfica, but I've started my career at a small club named Olivais e Moscavide. I think my father had a dream: that someday, me and my older brother would be great soccer players. Well, at that time my friends at school went to the cinema while I was training, I had no summer vacations because I had tournaments in July, and in August we started to train again to prepare the next season. I trained two times per day in plain August, while my friends were at the beach enjoying vacations. Of course, at Benfica I was being payed to be a football player. It was good money, however I had no time to spent it. - I kept all the money in the bank account. At that time, everyone was saying that Bruno Câmara had great chances to be a great player, but I decided to quit at the end of August of 1992. Why? Simple: I was 15 and I wanted to live a "normal" life: go to the cinema, have vacations, go to disco at Friday and Saturday nights, etc. When I played football, I couldn't sleep the night before the game: all night thinking about the game, mentally visualizing possible game situations and how to do the best. NO WAY. I don't want this to my life, I thought. Of course my father was very sad. I remember telling to my father that the victories that I had in soccer I would continue to have as a student. My father cried at that time but fully supported my decision. It was the end of a cycle in my life, with a change in priorities.
I think my journey as a student left my father and mother proud again. When I was 22 I ended my graduation in Computer Science Engineering. Well, during this time, I couldn't sleep also at the night before the exam, but now idealizing the math exercises and reviewing mentally my appointments. It is a question of attitude. At the end of my graduation I was invited to pursue a PhD and continue an investigation career in the academic world, teaching as an assistant professor. However, my priorities changed again: I wanted to earn money to be financially independent, have a car and begin thinking on a house. I was tired of the academic world. I needed to see the outside world. It was the end of another cycle.
I started working at 22 and married at 25. I had a rapid ascending in my professional career, however at 27 I needed to change again. Well, I thought I needed to change but I overreacted it. I quit my job to start my own company, my wife got pregnant, and I decided to take a master degree at computer science. What a stupid idea! Too immature. I quit the master degree two years later, because the starting of the company was very hard. During the first times my big priority was Agilior, my own company. It needed me to give the first steps. Agilior has been growing slowly, but is a wealthy company. In another post, who knows, I will talk about why I decided to have my own company.
But as I said at the beginning of this post, I changed priorities recently. Why? Simple: my old son André has now 3.5 years old and he needs me a lot. But the curious thing is that I need him a lot also. Parenthood has been the best experience in my life. Most of the books that I've read were about computer science, entrepreneurship and personal development, but now I'm starting to read about parenting. Since early I want to be one of the best guys in some field of computer science and to be recognized by the community. Now I want also to be the best father and to be recognized by my sons. And that's my first priority now. And the time is too small. I will continue to be committed to both fields, professional and personal, but it is hard to excel in both. To be honest, now I prefer to adopt a low profile in front of the community - in fact, I want to be away of the lights.
A few days ago I asked to my son "who are your best friends?". I expected to hear David, Rui, etc, who are friends at school. However, the answer was "my father and mother". My first reaction was to question mom if it was her that had taught him. She said no. In the following day I questioned at school if the teacher taught him something like this. They said no. Well, I have no words to explain what I felt. My fears are now to fail as a father. Am I doing the right thing when I do this or give that to my son? Am I doing the right thing when I punish them? How to prepare them to life? As I said, that's my priority now. I hope to be a great father for my sons, as my father was to me and my brother.